Poor, deprived child

Ways in which I am ruining my 14-year-old daughter's life (as I have repeatedly been reminded this weekend):

1) I will not let her have a TV in her room like every single other teenager in America.
2) I will not let her watch MTV even though it's just for fun and she doesn't take any of that stuff seriously.
3) I will not let her download certain rap songs even though she does not understand what they mean and just likes the beat.
4) I will not buy a flat-screen TV for the living room.
5) I make her have a bedtime of 9:30 p.m. (still considered cruel and inhumane even though she often falls asleep at 9 p.m.)
6) I make her practice her trombone even though she hates her trombone.
7) I make her read even though she hates reading.
8) I make her be nice to her brother even though she hates her brother.
9) I will not let her have a phone in her room like every single other teenager in America.
10) I just laugh when she whines about #1-9.

Bad mom. Baaaaaaad mom.